luni, 13 aprilie 2009

de la Cosmin: Ciudata rasa suntem noi


Ciudata rasa suntem noi.

Vorbim despre lucruri inalte , despre ce vrem , cu cat suntem mai tineri cu atat dorintele noastre sunt mai inalte si parca mai pline de lumina. Suntem in stare sa luptam pentru ele, vorbim cu pasiune si inflacarare si multe ore zile si poate luni sunt sacrificate acestui concept, fiecare minut secunda sacrificata acestui scop definindu-l ca pe un scop in viata... Dar viata trece si din copii devenim adolescenti, devenim razvratiti schimbam lumea si lumea este dusmanul nostru atunci cand nu ne ajuta, totul se trasnpune in fior in fluturi in stomac, in vise visate si vise gandite. Apoi ne indragostim, interactionam cu celalalt si spiritual social se cizeleaza, avem lucruri adunate in minte si tot ce am visat ca trebuie sa se intample este pus la treaba. Dar odata cu aceasta etapa incep problemele. El/ea devin obiecte reale ce refuza cu incapatanare sa devina ale noastre, soaptele mangaierile si visele incep sa se topeasca caci iata viata atat de reala cum este ea incepe sa se infiltreze in viata noastra. Si atunci ce ramane ? Raman niste nopti de zbucium in care te intrebi ce dracu este dragostea si cat de mult conteaza pentru tine ? Te intrebi ce inseamna sa iubesti atata timp cat asta nu se simte? Dispare magia si vraja si intram intr-o piata concurentiala ucidem visele aruncandu-le cu priviri vinovate pe un fotoliu al constiintei promitandu-ne sa ne ocupam de ele mai tarziu atunci cand setea noastra de invatare se va fi sfarsit. Si devenim alerti, plini de culoare si gesture, totul trebuie sa fie mai mare mai puternic mai colorat mai intruziv , baietii devin tinte iar fetele subiecte de barfa, atunci apar sentimentele puternice cand el devine indispensabil vietii tale , cand il adori plin de recunostinta iar cuvintele lui sunt sorbite fara pic de constiinta. Atunci el masculul alfa se transforma intr-un adevarat macho, centrul unui univers ce nici macar tu nu il banuiai atat de mare. Zile nopti, nopti , ani de liceu , primul mers la mare sau la munte cu el , momentul in care mainile devin din ce mai obraznice, momentele in care vorbele devin fapte si mai tarziu faptele devin un mod de viata, iar undeva prin facultate se intampla ceva. El devine mai rece si mai putin interesat de pronumele asta plural noi, ea devine din ce in ce mai interesata de acel altfel pe care il simte in jurul ei , pe care simte ca il poate accesa .

Iar la un moment dat povestea se termina , el devine fostul - ea devine fosta si lucrurile incep sa se accelereze, atunci desi poate ruptura se intamplase in prima noaptea in care el nu o mai imbratisase sau atunci cand ea nu il privea zambind ci isi ferise privirea gandindu-se la cat de obosita este …tot ceeea ce era universal lor comun se frange in milioane de amintiri iar prietenii devin selectivi , devin ai mei , devin ai tai , iar totul in jurul lor se blindeaza intr-o tacere suspecta , povestile se fragmenteaza iar carierile devin superbe. Colegii si mai prietenosi si incepe lungul drum al ascensiunii, ma rog uneori mai inclinat uneori mai putin inclinat depinde de situatie . Iar oamenii se plimba apar din ce in ce mai multe personaje, sterse si pline de uimire, uneori rutina este rupta de un om pe care tu il crezi special si atunci lucrurile se anima dar in final atunci cand spui adio ceva din tine moare incetul cu incetul , pana in momentul in care il intalnesti…atent si foarte grijuliu spontan si plin de viata, te indragostesti si lucrurile incep sa se miste, incetul cu incetul viata se transforma in pereche si lumea te percepe prin el iar tu percepi lumea prin el, nunta vine natural la fel copii , un miracol prima oara iar ulterior asteptari pline de speranta, imbatranesti si undeva in momentele de reflectie gasesti visele acelea uitate pe un fotoliu vezi zambind gandindu-te ca ce pueril suna totul si cat de departe este asta, ciclul se repeta prin urmasii nostrii prin copii nostrii si povestea ramane aceeasi .doar personajele se schimba ceea ce inainte se transimtea natural si face to face acum devine virtual , totul incepe pe net si cred ca se termina pe net uneori fara ca nici macar persoanele acelea sa se cunoasca, ascult ingrozit cum oamenii imi povestessc de relatii virtuale in care incapeau cuvinte ca si te iubesc, acolo unde totul inceteaza in momentul in care apesi butonul de power off.

Dar suntem incredibili pentru ca lucram la visele noastre, pentru ca luptam pentru ele , pentru ca la un moment dat le abandonam si ne supunem unui destin general, pentru ca devenim lasi si spunem ca nu a fost sa se intample, pentru ca cedam usor in spatele amintirilor. Ne smulgem tot ceea ce ne definiste si devenim impasibil sub tutela nu vreau sa sufar se ascunde un suflet ascuns si garbovit de o platosa imensa in care intra in majoritate intrebari ce incep cu nu si ganduri cenzurate. In virtutea acestei viziuni incepem sa cunoastem oameni pornind de la premisa ca vor ceva de la noi , sex mancare nu stiu cazare, dar vor ceva de la noi si atunci oamenii acestia trebuie depistati si alungati indepartati si pusi la respect pentru ca nu mai vrem sa suferim pentru ca vrem ca viata noastra sa fie perfecta. Dar de fapt ce ascundem in noi ? ce suntem in spatele acestor inclestari ce spunem atunci cand acuzam pe cineva ca incearca sa ne pacaleasca.? Cred ca ne este teama , ne este teama ca ne-am transformat, am invatat sa traim aici si acum si gandul ca exista cineva care ar putea transcede granite asta ne sperie, ne sperie pentru ca nu stim cum sa o privim cum sa o purtam , cum sa o acceptam..printii pe cai albi nu mai exista, exista doar oameni mai mult sau mai putini de casa mai mult sau mai putini apropiati cerintelor noastre.

Suntem ciudati cum renuntam la ceea ce am cladit in timp ca sa ne ordonam ascultatori sunb mantia lui acum ..carpe diem o zicala otravitoare care din pacate isi lasa otrava sa susure prea mult si lasa inteligenta din ea sa fie patata de superficialitate . Alergam umblam si descoperim , descoperim ca in pofida ceea ce facem ne lipseste zambetul si ne lipseste multumirea aceea ca suntem fericiti cu ceea ce facem , pana la instrainare nu este decat un pas, unii reusesc sa ucida gandurile astea altii traiesc cu ele o lunga perioada.

Suntem ciudati pentru ca vrem sa comunicam , dar atunci cand o facem incepem sa fim suspiciosi , nu exista perfectiune ci doar senzatii trecatoare si aruncam vina si blamul pe persoana ce incearca sa se deschida, nu vrem sa ramanem singuri si asta se plateste in relatii, in durere in clipe pierdute prea usor. Suntem ciudati pentru ca ne transformam si nu intr-o evolutie complexa ci intr-o degrinolada continua in care integram luam si implementam ganduri ce nici macar nu ne apartin , incercam sa castigam solutii personale de fericire dar in demersul asta nebunesc nici macar nu incepem cu noi insine ci mai curand cu oamenii cu care intram in contact

Preferam sa dorim mult cu investitii minime daca se poate o formula a succesului minima. Dar ce investim noi? De fiecare data data cand vorbim de asta avem tendinta sa credem ca suntem infailibili dar de multe ori gresim si nici macar nu realizam asta. Iar intotdeauna cand actele noastre ne arata acest esec ne ascundem in spatele dorintei de ghinion, nu a fost sa fie, nu ar fi putut sa mearga.sunt expresii ce ne definesc neputinta pentru ca alttfel nu am putea sa mergem mai departe

Suntem ciudati, egoisti fragili si tematori, riscam putin si cerem totul , cu toate astea ma gandesc ca povestea se poate schimba ca fiecare zi este o sansa sa poti spune ca totul se schimba in viata ta, ca atunci cand ceri poti sa oferi mai mult decat ceea ce ai oferit.si am gandi ca fiecare zi este o sansa sa reintoarcem langa locul ala unde am aruncat visele si sa le luam la noi pentru ca fara ele suntem doar niste nume intr-o masa amorfa de identitati pierdute..


miercuri, 8 aprilie 2009

D c nu shtiim s-a skriem corekt ?

Nush, parka, akasa, nostrii, sa sti, vre-un, « stiu sa vorbesc, decat ca nu stiu sa scriu », aman2, sa amanat examenul, s-a mergem sa vedem, ash fii fost foarte bun la gramatika daka nu ash fi fost asha de loser. C true eshti. Dupe. fataaaaaa....

Pur si simplu mi-a fost greu sa dau exemplele de mai sus si sa fac acest mic colaj dar ma jur, acum imi vine sa scriu cu sh si k. E o intoxicare aproape subliminala si o respiri ca aerul, daca acest instictiv reflex de expir-inspir nu ar putea fi controlat si educat, asa cum fac sportivii de perfomanta pentru dozarea resurselor fizice.

Nu stiu de ce nu stim sa scriem corect.( coreckt). Cu greu am putea fi noi numiti generatia twitter, pentru ca dupa mai mult de 16 ani de scoala continua, noi nu adoptam siteurile de socializare pe nemestecate, dar incercam sa le folosim in scopurile care ne sunt utile, am invatat prioritizarea si aplicabilitatea lor. Generatiile care inca nu au ajuns in anul al 12lea de scoala insa, s-au nascut cu un mouse si o tastatura in brate, iar in scoala generala, in loc de 3 covrigi, isi schimba id-urile de messenger. In statusul messengerului e chintesenta existentei lor zilnice, e jurnalul lor in real time, de la ora la ora sau chiar de la minut la minut poti fi martorul tacut sau interactiv al starilor sale sufletesti. Care sunt foarte multe, trecatoare si evident, profunde, asa cum le aveam si noi la 15-16 ani. Si dramatice, neaparat. Nu acestia ma uimesc, ii inteleg, ii deplang si ma rog sa nu incapa unul ca ei pe mana mea cand o sa le fiu director in cativa ani si ei juniori.

In schimb, nu ii inteleg pe cei din generatzia mea, care au citit si invatat aceeasi carte de gramatica din 1-4 si 5-8. Sintaxa, morfologie, analiza pe text, cu despartitul textelor in propozitii, cu analiza sintactico-morfologica a diverselor cuvinte si locutiuni. Locutziuni. Cu olimpiadele de la romana unde prima parte se referea la comentarii de text si eseuri iar a doua parte continea un text greu - de obicei extras dintr-un autor roman care iubea frazele incalcite cu propozitii subintelese, intercalate, etc- pe care trebuia sa il despoi si sa il jupoi si sa transpiri deasupra lui pana la expirarea celor 3 ore ale concursului , visand la laurii de olimpic si la ridicarea statutului tau de elev silitor. Nu ii inteleg pe cei din generatia anterioara care a avut parte de chiar mai multa teorie si conditii incomparabil mai grele si care, de frica de a nu ramane la coada sapei vesnic in acel sat uitat de lume, si-au propus sa invete pe rupte si sa ajunga cineva in oras. Uite ca au reusit. Unii dintre ei insa, TOT nu stiu sa scrie romaneste corect. Corekt. De ce naiba ?

E vreun talent? E nevoie de un al saselea simt, acela al scrierii corecte ? poti sa scrii sa-shi faca, inteleg generatia hi5, dar sa scrii « reprezentantii nostrii » ? Cum poti vorbi de strategii si de planuri de afaceri cand tu insuti sau insati nu stii « vorbii » si scrie romaneshte ? sau Nu sti ? Ne dispar silabele din cuvinte, diftongii si hiatii sufera de un sindrom de autodefinire, au capatat o personalitate proprie brusc si la propria lor vointa si liber arbitru ? E un mister sau poate nu. Limba unei natii e un organism viu, e supus influentelor diverse, cuvinte din engleza au devenit cuvinte acceptate si in dictionarul roman, asa cum atatea cuvinte din roamana considerate in fondul lexical de cuvinte sunt transformari si adapatari ale diverselor influente lingvistice externe. Nu asta e problema, clar.

Klar. Cand oamenii au o nesiguranta – sanu nici macar pe aia- cu privire la cand un cuvant se scrie cu 1 « i » sau 2 de « i » sau 3 de « i », cand liniuta de unire, cratima sunt mistere prea complexe de cuprins cu mintea umana contemporana prin excelenta urbana si ubber metrosexuala, cand orice discutie despre educatie se loveste de ziduri de netrecut ale sistemelor de impozitare, noi grile de bugetare, schimbari trimestriale ale progamei scolare, cand cartile de copii au inserate poze din mamba cu fetite cu sani si fund cu tanga, ma pregatesc ca un spartan pentru o viitoare confruntare cu copiii mei. Sau e mai bine la o scoala in Evetia ? E mai « safe » , engleza cel putin are misterul spelling-ului iar germana… e pe aproape.

Asa ca nu am nicio pretentie la micii furiosi din cauza invaziei de hormone. Dar « makes me so sick » sa vad titraje pe posturile private de televiziune cu expresii, cuvinte, cu greseli infame la limita oricarui bun simt. Si unii te indeamna aproape fioros in cadrul unei campanii sociale la cultura, te indeamna sa citesti, sa iti aduci aminte de valori. Doamne fereste, din ce in ce mai mult acesti oameni si crezul lor despre ceea ce inseamna viata in general reprezinta o nisa din ce in ce mai subtirica si anemica. O nisha, zic. Anemika, da ?

Ma intreb, din nou, dar oare mai conteaza toate lucrurile astea care par acum atat de detaliate si micsorate tocmai prin calitatea asta a lor de detaliu si nuanta (desi ele sunt ceva de baza, dar ce mai conteaza) in lumea in care parca nimic nu mai are sens cu adevarat ?

marți, 7 aprilie 2009

a merry funky business


I still wonder about what we should change regarding business strategies. As it seems, everyone goes with the flow and waits for tomorrow to deliver the next step. I have read analysis disclosed in April last year- when the C word ( crisis) dind’t start to pierce quite strong in Romania- analysis written by specialists from really reputed financial institutions which estimated a 2008 safe for eastern Europe against the US economy downturn ( due to the large economy and financial gap between the two continents ). As it turned, we, Eastern Europeans, we are even now damn “safe”. So, I wonder once again, what are books needed for right now? How do we make a proper business strategy when a fiscal code is largely disputed and controversial in its measures?

And, above everything, how can we trust anything around us? Even ourselves, or the closest ones. We just play check waiting for tomorrow to make its move and we do ours accordingly, without knowing if we have a really good check partner or we just play blind. How can we even trust Moody’s, Standard&Poor ratings, FMI strategically- given loan, without thinking that (and not corroborated with the mystically conspiracies’ fans) that these organizations are only created to serve well global interests of certain power state economies and mediate and correct what it doesn’t serve well for them. This doesn’t necessary leads to the strategies done for the sake of a human being, employee, SME, social state politics, NGO and so on. I just feel we are the same as in anthology, at the mercy of the all hundred of gods, except now these gods are living now in corporate business centers in the great business and financial capitals of the world. Some states understand and play safe against these strategies, they make good PR for themselves, they take what they need and furnish to their people the safe living, a decent one at least.

I look around myself to my people and to my government and I found myself once again hopeless. With a president clowning around among the officials gathered at UE-NATO summit, with most of our officials driving blind and clueless this state (which at certain points can be ruled as a business, isn’t it?) With a Pogea seen by incident in his car, readind a newspaper and wearing on a finger a large gold ring ( “ghiul” it is called in Romania) and as I googled it, there are so many others with the same tastes in accessoring their incompetence. With Republic of Moldavia thrown once again in the communism nightmare. With TV news lacking any news at all, with the same figures quoted and analyzed and followed day after day after day …

My Delia said recently “all the bad news which makes me uncomfortable come from Romania). Sure, her roots are Romanians, otherwise, the bad news would have come from Bulgaria, Hungary, Czech Republic, Poland. Why, though, I have this feeling that, except Romania, those other news wouldn’t have been equally cheap bad and sad-given as Romania’s?

Someone asked me in the recent past to write a short fragment regarding Romania’s state of the nation . I ignored the invitation, I found myself too bitter and too disappointed to wash the dirty clothes and write about it in a foreign magazine. I am not a patriot, not at all, not in the sense that I would give my life for something so abstract as “country”. But I played dead because I had nothing to comment on a very bad general situation.

Now about PR: I have read an interview with a PR representative which uttered the request for journalists to ask about “good things” happening in a company also and not only the “superficial bad and front page-titled news”. I wonder about this too: Should I write about a company’s new products or about how many people left that company without jobs? Can you be on Prozac in the mid of this bad news storm which surrounds us? How can I help a company to increase profits and make more money and also make sure that, my PR is resulting in hiring people again? When every big company comes in Romania for cheap labor force, let’s be honest about this, for the god’s sake. (I have examples, very certain, very clear and very non-PR). We call it strategy – when you keep profits high with the costs of cutting budgets from everything, from people to technology.

Research: a friend of mine was complaining last week that the budget for research has been cut to something above zero and his wife, a physician PhD ( also in the past, this budget had 0.13/ .118/ 0.54 from GDP) has troubles at work. When did Romania invested in something else which doesn’t make money today? Everyone talks about how speculative in Romania’s economy. Yes, but who let the speculators and the speculative investments occur? When did Romania, as a state, have a strategy, of any kind?

History insert: I know that we begged for Churchill and Roosevelt to save us from soviets and they thought better and said no. Sharply.

We speculate anything and everything and we are clowning in Europe and abroad. We send officials for European parliament which doesn’t know to define what the NATO abbreviation means. Lately, we encourage for self-developing a young lady which knows better to wear a Louis Vuitton than reading a single fragment of an economy treat. The sole names I heard around and which accomplished to gain a certain respect among the social common and average conscience are those of Raed from Smurd and Razvan Ungureanu. Even them are widely discussed, as everyone in this world.

So, what is funky about doing business in Romania? And how two Swedish academicians (and some of us know about How Sweden relates to social system if not overall business) can teach or mark a single good idea in their books, to be applied in state where every company speculates the profits done already yesterday?

I think we have to wait for some new books to be written, once the world starts to cure again. The systems- financial and economics – will be back on track not starting tomorrow, but on the basis of a continuous transformation until they get that shape which functions ( hopefully). And only then I will start to read another economy book or care for an MBA degree which now only teaches me the wrong economy lessons.


luni, 6 aprilie 2009

bites of silent happiness

waiting for the sea to wash away my worries


A Saturday morning, blind, silent and wonderfully out of any thought that had crossed my head 12 hours ago, while I was returning from my usual work. A week free of joy, nevertheless full of hope, though. Cause you see, you get up in the morning and you hit for your workplace and say “…today I will do my best to become what I always dreamt of, to make a difference, to be better as I was thought to, to be kinder with everyone around me”. Purpose of our decent lives. Still, you get to your workplace and find out how nothing is supposed to be and you look around, even in a larger circle-like geometry and alas, you find out how actually really nothing around you is like it was supposed to be. You read newspapers, you talk with people, you listen to them, close or remote friends, intimate buddies or just contextual. You look at tv – national private stations , business-focused, of course- and even further, you are hit with dozens of sterility, lies, corporate blah-blah, intellectuals without a proper country and analysts without a clue. And once more, you feel small, powerless, clueless and, because you have been taught to look ahead and survive, you also feel full of hope.

And it is Saturday morning and you do that. You get up and say to your beloved one, let’s go to the seaside. And you go, 2 hours crazy driven on the highway- which really starts to get damaged more and more (and I heard THEY want to put a 5 euros tax on it). No problem, one more tax on our patient and string shoulders. And there is the sea, blue to black (there is a reason they called it black sea), intense and calm, with an April sun warming up the cliffs and caressing your winter-stroke paleness of your skin.

And instantly, Bucharest disappeared, companies and their strategies have been left behind, inert-faced people of the city are not around, crisis is just a word in others’ drained minds, and you begin to breathe the salty air and to exhaustless run in the still-chill sand. For somebody who would trade any city and lifestyle for a privately-owned sea shore, no matter the shore, sea has always been the medicine for everything.

Is sadness or happiness contextual or it just depends on our true nature? When you see how everything crushes or melts in a filthy swamp of top-governed incompetence, lack of the slightest leadership, how we just linger and wait for something is not in out true powers, the human happiness concept become a word of philosophy and not a human state desirable to reach? For somebody who doesn’t needs fancy-trendy-looks or cosmopolite visions on how the life should be, a bit of salty sea and sun, a bit of walking around and a coffee drank under the cozy sun near the shore is the ultimate happiness. The same would be sitting on a terrace in a mountain’s resort. But to get there you need to fight with a traffic, with the look-alike mad and innocently-stupid drivers. I am not willing to pay this price and I counted on the fact that sea will be more welcoming and out of visitors than mountain resorts.

Really, in my own country I feel happier without (some) people around? Apart from their- mine also- daily problems and complains? Apart from my own regular life, I feel more happy and truly living? What is then the purpose of living the other 5 days of the week? I guess it is more and more challenging to find the motivation within itself and to say “tomorrow will be better”. Tomorrow and today are not happy that all and sadly, I see how I am buried in a whole of nothing 5 days a week. And living the other two, happily. I see people who strive of finding sweet short happy moments in every day of their lives, but if you are strongly-related to the reality surrounding like a too-tight belt, the shorts moments of happiness are like molecules of fresh water in the desert. And it is a long journey until you reach an oasis and the camels you are riding are somehow ill and guideless. What can we do and actually, what can we do more??!!